How Zuko Got His Scar
by Ulicia
Summary: my own version of how zuko got that crazy  and hot  scar of his.  i didn't know how to rate this, so it's T, just to be safe.  my first fanfic! ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Avatar: the last airbender or Hallmark**

**hope this disclaimer works for all other chapters :)**

"Happy Birthday, Father!" said Zuko, pushing a cart holding a 5' by 8' birthday card (made specially by Hallmark, customized, of course).

"Um…hi." Ozai raised an eyebrow at Zuko. Then he did a double take at the birthday card. "Uh, I see you did some light shopping?"

Zuko just smirked as he pushed the cart right up to his father, who tentatively opened the gigantic card.

_Happy birthday from your smart-ass son!_

Under the message was a picture of a donkey with Zuko's face. Ozai looked kind of shocked. Then, "that's cute, son," he said sarcastically.

Zuko roared with laughter. "AND IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR BIRTHDAY! HAHAHAHAHA!

"I refuse to speak to you EVER again…leave my presence!"

Zuko backed away slowly, then stepped on a whoopie cushion. Ozai looked like he couldn't breathe. His face turned pink, to red, to blue, then to purple, then back to pink again before he could finally force out an understandable message.

"I would take a step back, son…" he squeaked, trying to get himself under control. Zuko jumped back just as Ozai opened his mouth and laughed so hard he breathed fire.

"It wasn't _that _funny…jeez…" Zuko turned on his heel with a quizzical expression on his face and strode briskly out the door. At the moment, the Fire Lord was rolling on the floor, laughing his tiny heart out. Zuko wasn't surprised when the ambulance turned up at the building shortly after he left. He turned around with a sigh and quickly ran to the front of the building where his father was being hauled into the back of the ambulance.

**A/N: hey guys! im planning on making these chapters short and quick, but im going to be uploading new chapters so i hope this isnt a problem. again, this is my first fic, so im hoping to get lots of reviews to improve my work. thanks! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: no summaries from moi! lol :P I like to keep things a surprise. Hope you like this chapter!**

Fire Lord Ozai looked extremely uncomfortable and out of place lying on the hard hospital bed.

"Oh…what _happened_?" he groaned.

Zuko answered, "uh…I stepped on a whoopie cushion and you passed out laughing. Hey, Doctor! You got a juice box?" The doctor served Zuko quickly before turning to Ozai.

"You are quite a lucky man, Mr. Fire Lord, sir. Your throat was terribly unaccustomed to laughing, so the slightest outburst could have left you mute. If it wasn't for your lovely daughter, Azula, here, you would be unable to speak!" Ozai beamed at his daughter, who smirked at her brother and gazed at everyone with aloofness.

He turned to his wife and whispered, "I'm glad we decided to have a girl."

"But you were the one who threw a flowerpot out the window when you heard the news!"

"Never mind your mother's pointless babbling, Azula," Ozai quickly reassured, "the pancake she ate this morning probably stirred her…um…imagination?" Azula scoffed and began entertaining herself by trying to incinerate a daisy with her eyes. "And as for YOU, my son, you have caused much damage and disruption today. How DARE you plot my death by stepping on a whoopie cushion!"

"Yeah, ZU-ZU! Did you plot Dad's death so you could speed up your coronation?" Suddenly, Azula had taken interest in the conversation. Of course, anything to get her brother banished would be the pinpoint of her undivided attention. Zuko choked on his juice box.

"WHAT? Dad, you were the one who told me to leave the room!" Prince Zuko exclaimed.

"Silence! You have plotted treason, disgraced the family by drinking from a JUICE BOX, and now you are speaking against your father, the Fire Lord of our nation? You are despicable. Leave the palace immediately. You are **(A/N pause for effect)**

**BANISHED**."

Fire Lady Ursa looked horrified.

Azula's face turned purple to keep herself from laughing evilly.

Prince…er…sorry, EX-Prince Zuko's ears rang with the word "banished." How could his father betray him like this? He has always been his father's favorite child!

**Find out what zuko does in later chapters. next ones an interlude**

**plz review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Interlude

"Ursa," breathed the Fire Lord. He didn't want Zuko or Azula to overhear his conversation.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I…feel…a disturbance…as if Zuko was telling himself he was my favorite child…"


	4. Chapter 4

_I can't let him do this to me. _ Zuko thought. He subtly told his sister, "can I talk to you in the hall?"

"Of _course_, Zuko, _anything_ for my precious brother!"

"Riiiiiight…" mumbled Zuko as he led the way out the door. Once the hall was fairly clear, he leaned over to Azula. "Listen here, Azula, you've gotta try to get father to take back his banishment decree."

"And please tell me Zuko, why in the name of agni would I do that?"

"Well, um, we're sibli!ngs?" Azula raised an eyebrow, like, _are you stupid? _"Please? Can you just PLEASE do this for me? I've never done anything to you!"

"You did something to me just by being related to me. Besides, I like seeing you suffer."

Zuko's temper snapped. He played his final card with, "if you don't succeed, I'll tell him you made out with Admiral Zhao."

"THAT IS THE MOST RIDICU—" Azula's voice dropped to a fierce whisper, "where exactly were you at 4:37 pm last Sunday?"

"At home, playing Mario Kart Wii. I KNEW you had the hots for Zhao," replied Zuko triumphantly.

"Why you little…"

"Hey guys!" squealed Ty Lee, who cartwheeled right up to the happy siblings. She turned to Azula. "How's your dad? I heard he nearly died laughing."

"He's NOT fine, thanks to Mr. Whoopie Cusion over there." Azula gestured towards Zuko.

"Uh...whoopie cushion?" Ty Lee looked thoroughly confused, but then decided she didn't care enough to investigate. She turned to Zuko. "So…er…I also heard…"

"Yeah, I got banished. But don't worry, my LOVELY and CARING sister will take care of it. _Right, Azula?_" Zuko said the last two words with as much contempt possible without Ty Lee noticing.

Azula gave her brother the finger before turning sharply and entering Fire Lord Ozai's hospital room.

"Wow! I can almost FEEL the awkward. By the way, why did Azula give you the finger?"

"Long story, Ty Lee. I really don't want to go through that again."

"Well, anyway, I'd better get going. I can't find Mai and I seriously need to take a pee," Ty Lee said.

"Too much info. And I think you have a little…er…_something_ on your cheek." Zuko squinted to get a better look.

"Oh yeah, that's my new pimple cream! Azula gave it to me yesterday for my half-birthday. I think I'm starting to break out again."

"Ty lee?"

"Yeah?"

"That's poop."

**A/N: Sorry, I haven't exactly gotten to the real plot yet. still sort of beating around the bush. i think this chapter was kind of lengthy, but i promise you the next one SHALL BE SHORT! :D**

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter's mainly focused on Azula...actually, from now on most chapters will be focused on Azula. anyway, i don't own mario kart wii (again) or ATLA**

Azula has been thinking a lot since her talk with Zuko. _I don't want to help him, but I can't let father find out about how I snuck out to see Zhao. Stupid Zuko. Stupid threats. Stupid Mario Kart Wii._

"Azula? Are you feeling well?" asked Ozai with extremely mild concern. He was more worried about the ant that was crawling up his leg. He tried to firebend at it with his eyes. "I think she should get checked out," he whispered to his wife without taking his eye off the ant, which had reached a very uncomfortable spot.

"I'm…uh…fine."

"Why are you sweating so much?"

"I, er…ran around the building," Azula lied quickly. "I needed to stretch out." Azula's never been so scared in her life. Well, except that time Lo and Li dressed up as tacos at Halloween. _That _was scary. "Sorry, Dad, I have to, uh, go to swim practice." She ran out of the room so fast you could see a light trail behind her.

"_Swim_ practice?" whispered Ozai. Ursa shrugged.

"I had no idea she actually went through with that!"

The next morning Ozai checked out of the hospital. He couldn't afford to miss yet _another_ war meeting. After all, there had been numerous sightings of the new Avatar.

"Okay, my good war ministers, let us begin," said Ozai. His face lit up. "So, I have this, like, AMAZING new idea! Seriously, like, you CANNOT believe how genius this is! Omigosh!"

-chirp. chirp.-

"Ahem. So the plan is, we make this play, starring the Ember Island Players. We should make it about the Avatar and the morons that travel with him. We'll make it REALLY BAD. Then he'll get so mad he'll challenge me to an agni kai so I can give him a friendship bracelet—I mean…eliminate him…er…yeah."

There was a long pause. Then a brave minister spoke up. "Um…that is a _very_ interesting and…creative plan. Maybe we should keep brainstorming, but that is an…" The minister swallowed. "…_excellent_ back up."

"Mr. Fire Lord Sir, the Princess has requested your audience."

"Aw, cut the crap, Dennis. We all know you don't talk like that," said Ozai. "And isn't this supposed to be an ADULT ONLY war meeting? It's like, kids aren't allowed in the pool during ADULT SWIM, so why to kids go to ADULT WAR MEETINGS? But oh well. I was getting bored. Send her in."

Dennis whispered to Azula through the crack in the door, something like, be careful, _he's off his rocker._ Then he opened the heavy double doors and Azula strode in.

"I would like to speak with you alone, Father."

"Alright, you heard the lady. Beat it, people." Then the Fire Lord kicked the last person's butt and sent him flying out the door. Azula stared at Ozai for a full minute before she began to speak.

"Good morning, Father. I'm thrilled to see you're…ah…fully recovered."

"Thank you Azula. What did you want to talk to me about?" Azula looked at her shoes.

_Those are nice shoes._ She thought. _Too bad my feet will probably get cut off for what I'm about to say._ Her hair dangled around her face. _I like my hair. Too bad my hair will probably get shaved off after this. Goodbye hair. Goodbye life._ "Uh…"

**ooooo cliffie. review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Again, i do NOT own Mario Kart Wii. enjoy!**

"You said WHAT?"

"Father, _please—"_

"ABSOLUTELY NOT. I can't just take back my decree! That's outrageous! I have a reputation. Plus I've wanted to kick Zuko out ever since he peed on my atlas when he was two."

"But Dad! You don't understand! Zuko is—" Azula choked on some spit here, "—cool…and…nice."

"You don't mean that, do you?"

"No, but—"

"GOOD! So we're all settled. BYE!" Ozai promptly kicked Azula's angsty butt out the door.

"Well, that went well," said Azula, still rubbing her butt where her father kicked her. "At least I still have feet…and…" Azula paused and did a happy little dance (right there in the middle of the main hallway!), "…hair! I STILL HAVE HAIR!"

"Hey, Azula, what's up?" said Zuko smoothly as he strolled down the hall.

Azula quit dancing at _once_. "Oh…it's _you_." Flush. All Azula's happiness just went down the toilet.

"Yeah. It's '_me_'. So, what did Dad say?"

"Oh, uh…he's going to…cancel the decree," stammered Azula nervously. She flashed him a fake, wide grin, then shuffled past her brother and into the nearest room, which happened to be a dark utility closet. Zuko immediately popped into the closet after Azula and turned on the lights.

"I'm not stupid, Azula."

"Are you sure?"

"GAH! Okay, I know the pops didn't tell you he would cancel the decree. He's too…pigheaded. For angi's sake, Azula, stop shaking! You'll pee yourself!" If there's one thing Azula would never do (even in the face of death), it's pee herself. But no one's really in character today, right? "Spirits, Azula! Stop peeing on my atlas! And anyway, I'm telling dad about your love affair with Zhao and you're going to be there when it happens. If I'm going to be banished, I might as well take you down with me!" Zuko grabbed Azula's arm and dragged her out of the closet, down the hall, and up to the double doors leading to the Fire Lord's chambers.

"Zuko! You don't know what you're doing? If both of us get banished, who will be the heir to the throne? You and I both know nothing good ever came of a nation without a ruler." Azula whispered fiercely.

"Nothing good ever came out of a nation _with _a ruler. And I don't know who the heir will be, but it'll be _his_ fault no one will know." Zuko gestured toward the door. "Let me remind you that he was the one who decided to kick me out."

"Yeah, but he didn't know he would kick _me _out too!"

"Oh, whatever," Zuko snapped. He turned to the guard standing to the side, who was pretending not to be listening in on the conversation. "You there. Announce us."

"Yes, Prince Zuko. Fire Lord Ozai, Prince Zuko is here to see you." It was an EXTREMELY LONG time before the door began to open (Prince Zuko suspected his father was playing Mario Kart Wii) and it was an EXTREMELY LONG time before the heavy double doors were open wide enough for one person to squeeze through. But by that time, Azula had fallen asleep picking her toenails and Zuko had had to use the bathroom. Whoops.

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**I was seriously considering putting the following segment into the story, but i didn't want to get too sidetracked. But just for your enjoyment, I'm putting this here. here it is XD**

"Oh, uh…he's going to…cancel the decree," stammered Azula nervously. She flashed him a fake, wide grin, then shuffled past her brother and into the nearest room, which happened to be a dark utility closet.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DENNIS!" The lights flashed on and ten people's faces were revealed. Then ten pairs of eyebrows seemed to rise up off of them when the crowd realized who had popped in. There was a tense silence. Then one of the people with a ridiculous Sesame Street party hat found his voice.

"Please don't tell Dennis…oh, and don't tell the Fire Lord either." He smiled meekly and passed out. Another guy farted on cue.

_Yup, my life sucks._

**Disclaimer: I do NOTTTTTT own Sesame Street.**

**Please review! (i mean, to the real story...)**


	7. Chapter 7

Ozai, grinning mischievously, shooed away the guards who attempted to wake Azula. He pulled out an air horn. Seeing where this was going, the guards covered their ears and waited. A second later the windows shattered. But, being a prestigious firebender (and heavy sleeper), Azula didn't even flinch. The Fire Lord then proceeded to wack Azula on the head with the air horn.

"WHERE'S THE FIRE?" she screamed as she sat up abruptly. "Oh, hello father, I apologi—" and this is where Azula remembered why she had fallen asleep right outside her father's bedchambers. She glanced around to locate Zuko, but he wasn't there. _Ah, I remember. He left to use the bathroom. WOAH, WAIT A MOMENT. Didn't Dad install a new dragon in there?_

-in the bathroom-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

-back-

"Okay, time to rescue him," said a guard lazily. He skipped down the hall and opened the door to the bathroom. Sliding down his face mask, he charged. There were sounds of a struggle, a girlish scream, and then Zuko ran out, followed closely behind by a slightly charred guard.

"Hello, Zuko. Had a nice pee?"

"No."

"GREAT! So why were you at my door?" inquired Ozai. Azula gulped.

"I have something to tell you, father," said Zuko quietly. Fire Lord Ozai's face seemed to darken at the sight of him. Then he gestured for the two to follow him inside.

"Please don't banish me, father. I didn't mean for you to pass out laughing, really! I just wanted to make you laugh 'cause you seemed so depressed, and I think that was because you didn't get a new atlas for Father's day so I thought I should cheer you up so I—" Zuko stopped to breathe. "—gave you that card I got from Hallmark but I actually got it from the local drug store but it had a Hallmark sticker on it and I wanted to be a good son but instead I sent you to the hospital and I'm sorry and I'm not the only one who breaks rules because Azula made out with admiral Zhao on Sunday!"

"Wait, what was that part?"

"Azula made out with admiral Zhao on Sunday?"

"No, not that one. The one about the fake Hallmark card."

"Wait…what?"

"_How could you?_ I thought for once in your life you would care enough to spend one or two coins for your loving, _caring_ father, BUT NO. You just couldn't do it, so you went out to the local drug store and got me a fake card? You didn't even get me that atlas for Father's Day!"

"Wait, so you don't care about Azula and Admiral Zhao?"

"There's only one way to settle this: Agni Kai."

"REALLY, DAD? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THAT?"

"Tomorrow at 8, meet me in the war conference room." Azula just couldn't believe her luck. This was just too good.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Ahh, here comes the moment of truth!**

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_Well, it's 'tomorrow.' And it's eight. I'm. So. Screwed._ Thought Zuko. Looking over the events of last night, he wasn't sure what had gotten him in this mess. Probably because he didn't get his dad a new atlas for Father's Day.

"Well, I'm already late, so I might as well get changed as slowly as possible." Which he did. By the time he was ready, it was already nine. He walked to his father's war room as slowly as possible, making sure he greeted everyone in sight, then asked them what the weather was like, then bought them an ice cream cone. It was ten o'clock when he arrived at his destination. There was no one around anymore besides the guard at the door to the war conference room. He bowed and swung open the door.

"You're late," mumbled Ozai

"NO KIDDING!" Zuko exclaimed. Azula watched this exchange from her place beside her father and smirked. She was picking her nails.

"Well, let's get this show on the road," Azula said lazily. Zuko and Ozai stood across from each other. Zuko slipped off his robe and the whole room sort of got warmer (I wonder why?). Ozai did his fancy "step-out-of-the-flames-like-a-badass-then-show-off-your-guns-which-actually-just-makes-you-look-stupid" thing. He took his stance. The two men faced off for a moment.

"Loser gets a tattoo of Sozin's comet on their left eye."

"Deal. Let the agni kai begin." They brought their hands back and shot them forward.

"Fire," said Zuko, making a tiny flame in his palm.

"Earth," said Ozai simultaneously, making a fist.

"SHOOT! I LOST!"

"Haha, you have to get a permanent tattoo on your face…of Gramps' comet. HA!"

"AW, COME ON!"

"Come 'ere, lets go get you a tattoo, come on."

"No! I don't want one!"

"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you disobeyed me!"

"But—"

"I don't want to hear it! Let's go." Ozai grabbed hold of Zuko's ear and dragged him out the door, down the hall, out the front door, across the lawn, and into town. This was only Zuko's second time being in town, and his first time being in _this_ side of town. Buildings and street markets lined the roads with barely any space in between them. In narrow spaces lurked wanted criminals and street thugs. People stopped whatever they were doing to watch the Fire Lord—who hadn't even bothered with a palanquin—haul his first son into a shabby old building. In a few minutes, Zuko found himself strapped on his side to a hard, makeshift bed with his right eye facing down.

"Hold still," said the tattoo artist, brandishing a needle with a dangerously hot point. She cackled. "This will only hurt a lot…"

An hour later, Zuko stood in front of his mirror, the left side of his face bandaged and throbbing with pain.

"I can't believe this," he said, tenderly putting his hand on his eye. "All this pain over a fake Hallmark card and a whoopie cushion." There was a knock at the door. Zuko answered it.

"Well, I can't see the tattoo, but it must look _dashing_. I have to say, you getting banished _and_ branded is probably the best thing that's happened to me since potato salad was invented."

"Shut up, Azula."

"Well, now I know Dad doesn't give a toenail about you. Have fun living with your smelly old uncle."

"What?"

"Haven't you heard? Uncle apparently doesn't have anyone else to annoy so he's going to follow you around. Isn't that great? Now TWO Fire Nation pigs are getting thrown out," Azula said with glee.

"Azula, don't you have other people to terminally depress?"

"As a matter of fact, I don't. Did you know Uncle also got a tattoo? It's a teapot and…" Azula leaned in closer, "…it's on his butt."

"GAH! GO AWAY AZULA!" Zuko pushed her out the door and slammed it in her face. He slowly walked over to the mirror. _The tattoo artist said I shouldn't remove the bandages, but I just need to get a quick look… _He thought as he began to unravel them. When he was finished, he revealed an angry, red, and fiery scar-like mark over his left eye. He knew it should look like a beautiful comet, but it was _**not**_ beautiful…and it looked more like a splattered tomato than a comet. He looked a little closer and discovered that his eyebrow had been shaved off to complete the tattoo. For some reason, that made him a little angrier.

**Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**THE FINAL CHAPTER! *gasp***

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Zuko got a wake up call at around 2:00 a.m. the next morning, mostly because Azula was too excited to sleep knowing Zuko was getting kicked out, but of course the Fire Lord made up some ridiculous excuse about the entrance having a top notch automatic security system that operates between the hours of 6:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m., making it impossible to leave or enter the palace, whatever _that_ means. He was taken out to the entrance to the capital city and instructed to wait for his uncle. An hour later he heard a loud rumble unlike anything he'd ever heard before. A moment later it came again. And again. And once more before he could make out a huge red lump being carried by fifteen (FIFTEEN!) palanquin bearers. The lump got closer and closer until Zuko recognized it as his super fat uncle. Iroh kept snoring until his brother, who was hiding behind the bush next to Zuko the entire time, hopped out from behind his hiding spot and pulled out his signature air horn.

"INDIAN SCREAM! LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO—" screeched Ozai

"Dad!" Knowing that the Dragon of the West is bound to be immune to the air horn, the Fire Lord didn't even bother testing it. He began wacking him on the head with the can-side of the horn and did NOT stop until Zuko threw a toilet plunger at his father's butt—and Iroh was still asleep (it's impossible to wake him up if he's dreaming about tea). So when thirteen of the palanquin bearers collapsed from the weight, Zuko had to help haul his uncle onto a heavy duty cargo truck.

"Since I'm feeling merciful today, I've not going to make you drive with your Uncle on your way out."

"That warms my heart," he said, yawning. "So where are you sending us off to?"

"I dunno. Wherever you go is your business. Now if you will excuse me, I need to smack my guard. STOP EATING MY STEAK, YOU FREAK! Oh, and by the way, Fire Lords may not have tattoos, so if right now, you're not eligible to be Fire Lord."

"But—"

"HOWEVER, I will make you a deal. If you capture the Avatar, I'll allow you to get the tattoo removed-don't give me that look! You think you can get it removed anytime but the only doctors that can do the job are in the palace, hun. Now, go get tortured by your uncle!" Ozai shoved his son in the direction of the cargo truck, which was being driven through the gates to dump his uncle into the streets. Zuko led his ostritch-horse, which had been given to him on his twelfth birthday and had almost blinded him with a spoon (don't ask), towards the trucks.

"Good morning, my nephew. Do you have any cake?"

"Grrr…"

"Tea?"

"You know what…!"

"Never mind! Let's go!" Uncle then tried to mount the ostrich horse but couldn't even get his leg up a foot in the air. He tried again, this time using a stepladder, but the animal looked at him with fearful eyes and shook its head vigorously. No one can really blame it.

So Zuko rode on the poor creature's back while Uncle was forced to walk. None of them knew where they were going, but it didn't matter. If by any chance they get lost, Iroh would have all that body fat to live off of and Zuko…well, Zuko has the ostrich-horse…right?

**THE END**

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**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I'm writing a sequel RIGHT NOW but i won't post anything until at least 10 people review! (it's not hard guys!) MWAHAHAHAA!**


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